Overcoming Negative Self-Talk
I’ve never been the most secure, confident person. Perfectionism has always been deep seated in me, along with a string of lies about myself that I used to truly believe. Tell me if thoughts like these sound familiar to you:
Wow that girl is so pretty! I wish I could be more like her.
I need to be slimmer. I should work out more.
I’m scared to apply for a new job. I probably won’t get it anyway.
I’m not good enough.
Negative self-talk like this plagued me for years and it only led me to have a skewed perception of myself. I would hold myself back from speaking up at work because I thought my opinion wasn’t as valid as my superiors or I would self-sabotage my relationships because I was convinced a guy was out of my league. I was the biggest obstacle in my way!
Breaking the cycle and overcoming negative self-talk has been one of the hardest yet most important acts of self-love I’ve had to practice. These 3 things helped me really recognize the beauty within myself for the first time, and I hope they do the same for you, friend!
1. Listen to God
If you get to know God’s voice, you’ll quickly realize that none of your negative self-talk comes from Him! He’s a loving Father, who would only speak words of kindness, grace, and truth into your life. He’s also a fierce guardian, who wouldn’t want you to talk about His most beautiful of creations the way you currently do.
Like most answers we’re looking for, it’s all right there in the Bible. There are SO many passages that prove our negative self-talk wrong. Here are just a few of my favorite examples:
“God knit together your innermost being. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.”
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works.”
“She is more precious than rubies.”
“Whenever you feel unloved, unimportant, or insecure, remember to whom you belong.”
As you’re reading God’s truth, let each word sink into your heart and take root there. This is what God says about you.
As you move through life and awful thoughts about yourself pop into your head, immediately combat them with God’s word. Soon, you’ll start to recognize the difference between the lies the world tells you and the truth God teaches you.
2. Surround Yourself with Love
I’ve always been a fan of affirmations! In college, I would write my favorite inspirational quotes on sticky notes and place them around my dorm room for whenever I needed a quick pick-me-up.
As I started to get to know God better, I began replacing those quotes with affirmations, so I would literally be surrounded by God’s words. One sticky note goes on my closet door that says:
“God is the author of your story. You are in good hands.”
Another one sticks on my desk that reads:
“I was created by God to do good, beautiful things.”
One post-it on my bathroom mirror reminds me:
“In all things God works for the good of those who love Him.”
My favorite one of all is on my full-length mirror, which tells me:
“You are altogether beautiful. There is no flaw in you.”
So grab some pens in the brightest of colors, crack open your Bible, and discover your favorite verses! Seeing these words everyday will both consciously and subconsciously allow the truth to sink in until you believe them with all your heart.
3. Find Your Tribe
My people mean everything to me. We celebrate each other in the happiest of times and we remind one another of our strength in the lowest of times. They saw the absolute best in me even back before I believed it myself!
When the negative self-talk creeps in, tell one of your friends and let them speak truth over you. Once you hear the invading thought out loud, you’ll realize how silly it sounds, which renders the thought powerless. Then, when you listen to your friends talk about you in the most loving and amazing of ways, you’ll see the conviction on their faces and hear the truth in their message.
And if they believe in you 100%, then you should too!
God created each and every one of us beautifully and purposefully. He has made us perfect in His image, so how can we possibly criticize that? When I am at my lowest, these facts bring me instant comfort. As long as I have the Lord on my side, no one else can judge or insult me, especially not myself.