How to Heal a Broken Heart and Move On
If you’ve had a broken heart before, then you know that it can feel like the end of the world. And if you’re a sensitive soul like I am, you know that heartbreak can magnify your anxiety and can send you into depression.
When I had the worst broken heart of my life, I knew these feelings well. I also knew I had to figure out how to overcome it and find my way back to myself. It was the toughest thing I’ve ever had to do, but with God’s help, I was able to heal a broken heart and move on, and now, I hope to help you do so too.
First, I’m so sorry that you’re hurting right now. You don’t deserve this pain. I know it’s hard to believe at the moment (trust me, I definitely didn’t believe it either), but this feeling will pass. It’ll take time and effort, but things will get better. You are strong and are getting stronger by the minute.
God has you.
When I was deep in the trenches of heartbreak, all I wanted was a step-by-step guide of how to heal a broken heart and move on. While the healing process will be different for everyone, I want to share four things that helped me get through the darkest of nights:
It’s okay to cry it out! Cry as much as you want and as hard as you need. At my worst, I cried for hours every day, curled up in a little ball on my couch or in bed because all the dreadful feelings needed to be released. It’ll be worse later on if you pretend that you’re fine when you’re not, so go ahead and cry. It’s perfectly okay.
Journaling was also extremely helpful for me in processing what happened. For countless pages, I vented about all my confusion, desperation, hopelessness, and pain. It was a stream of consciousness about the facts of the situation, how I felt, what I thought I could have done differently, and what I wished would have happened.
I penned letters to the person who broke my heart, to myself, and to God. This was my way of acknowledging and then releasing the never-ending thoughts and feelings I had about the situation.
2. Sever All Ties
Do it. Right Now. Unfriend him on Facebook, block him on Instagram, remove him from Snapchat, delete him from your phone. I know it’s hard, but you have to do it.
You need to remove the temptation to contact him and take away your hope that he’ll contact you. You have to cut him off in order to start moving on.
Even if you agreed to be friends with him post-breakup, you can’t be true friends right away. You can’t look for happiness in the same place you lost it.
So cut the ties. You’ll feel a nearly instant wave of relief wash through you as you start to take back your life.
3. Lean on Your People
You have so many people who love you and want to help you! Let them support and lift you right now. There’s no way I would’ve gotten through my broken heart (and no way I want to do any part of life) without my people by my side!
Don’t feel guilty for venting to them or crying on their shoulders. If the situation was reversed, you would want to do everything possible to be there for your people, so let them be there for you! That’s what friends are for!
4. Create Your Best Life
Take a look at your life. What do you feel is missing? Maybe you’re craving deeper friendships, a closer relationship with God, or a sense of purpose. Now is the perfect time to mold your life into everything you’ve always wanted it to be!
I started going to church weekly, volunteering at least twice a month, going to a yoga class every weekend, taking up Spanish, learning calligraphy, and hosting monthly girls’ nights. My goal was to fill my life with the brightest, most fulfilling things I could think of so that my focus would be redirected to things apart from my heartbreak.
By filling my life with these new activities, I no longer had as much time, energy, or headspace to devote to the object of my heartbreak or those feelings. I started to invest in myself instead, which reminded me that I have a big, beautiful, full life apart from my love life.
The best part about this was that I loved having somewhere to be every week and knowing that I was bettering myself. I started to really and truly appreciate what else life had to offer, including a genuine love of myself maybe for the first time ever.
More than anything, I prayed through my heartbreak. Whether through my journal or out loud, I prayed so hard for healing and strength. I continuously asked God to give me some of His strength to get past the pain. I begged Him to remove the burden and equip me with the power to move on. I leaned on God more than I ever had before and of course, He took care of me.
Prayer always works, you guys. It’s not an instant fix, but it does work. It absolutely did for me!
My dear friend, I know that you feel lost and devastated, but just know that you are never alone. God brought that relationship to an end for a good reason, even if you can’t see what that reason is right now. Remember that you are intelligent, gorgeous, creative, warm, kind, strong, courageous, and loved. You will most definitely figure out how to heal a broken heart and move on in time. I’m always here for you! I’m praying for the brightest of lights at the end of your tunnel, which will come sooner than you think.