Are you Dating for the Right Reasons?
Who else’s guilty pleasure is The Bachelor?! If you’ve watched even one episode before, you’ll know that one of the hot topics is always who’s there for the right reasons. Is this girl here for love or fame? Whether you’re living for the drama (like I am!) or not, one thing I think we can take from the show is to ask ourselves:
Am I dating for the right reasons?
I am 100% guilty of dating for all the wrong reasons! I once dated a guy who was kind and gentlemanly, but we had zero chemistry. We often struggled to find things to talk about and while we had a good enough time together, that was just it. Good enough. Yet I kept seeing him because I thought that I wouldn’t be able to find another guy who was that nice.
I craved a relationship so badly that I didn’t want to wait for a better fit for me.
I also once dated a guy who was wrong for me in every way possible. We were complete opposites in our world views, hobbies, family relationships, and in basically everything that mattered. I continued seeing him though because it was fun, and what’s more is that I was trying to get over someone else at the time.
He was my rebound.
Maybe worst of all was a guy I almost dated who said and did all the right things to make me feel beautiful and desirable. What’s bad about that you ask? Well, we wanted extremely different things and had vastly different values, and I knew it from the beginning.
I ignored all the red flags because this guy eased my biggest insecurities and made me feel wanted.
Deep down, I knew it was never going to work out long-term, but I kept hanging out with him to make me feel better about myself.
Needless to say, none of these relationships worked out, and thank God they didn’t!
It wasn’t until I started to focus on myself that I realized I was dating for the wrong reasons. I took a step back to reflect and once I discovered what I wanted and didn’t want in a relationship, I was able to better evaluate someone on a date to see if he was the right fit for me.
No longer was I trying to find just anyone. I was trying to find the right one.
If you feel like you’re stuck in a dating rut or find yourself to be emotionally drained from it all, I invite you to dig deep and see if you’re dating for the right reasons. Ask yourself these questions:
Am I still in love with someone else and am trying to get over him?
Am I trying to prove something to someone or to myself?
Am I afraid to be alone?
Am I looking for validation from someone else?
Am I simply in love with the idea of love?
If you’re saying yes to any of these, maybe it’s time to date yourself first! If you need some encouragement or inspiration about how to do this, check out my blog post on exactly that, HERE.
Whatever answers you may find, I pray that you discover happiness and fulfillment because you deserve true joy and love!