Love: Rom Coms Vs. Reality

I have always been in love with love. When I was a kid, I would envision the kind of love I wanted to have when I grew up, and I don’t just mean that I imagined a fancy wedding with me walking down the aisle in a big, princess-style ball gown and cathedral veil (although I did that too). I mean that I romanticized the kind of life I would create with my future partner. I thought about how we would meet: sitting next to each other in class, exchanging witty banter at a coffee shop, or accidentally bumping into one another on the street. It was the stuff of rom coms. I thought about the activities that we would enjoy together: attending school functions arm in arm, splashing each other at the beach, or simply walking around the block on a gorgeous summer day. I thought about the house we would own and the precious children we would have. I thought about it all.

But most of all, I envisioned how he would make me feel. In any scenario I dreamed up, it was always a given that our love would be everything that television and movies depict love to be. I would be over the top happy and my partner would move mountains to be with me. We would both fall head over heels in love and nothing would go wrong. Like I said, it was the stuff of rom coms.

Now that I’m older, I know that art doesn’t always reflect reality. While I would like for a real-life love to mimic all the cuteness, joy and perfection of an on-screen relationship, I understand that that’s not necessarily going to be the case. Real love is messy, littered with obstacles, and full of emotions both positive and negative, but it truly is a rare and beautiful thing to encounter. Now that I’m older, I know what kind of love I actually want.

I want a love that is passionate, intense, and all-consuming. I want a love where both partners are so proud to be with each other that they want to shout it to the world. I want a love that’s an equal partnership with mutual respect, selflessness, and care. I want a love that’s a best friendship, where we can talk about anything and everything, from the shallowest parts of our minds to the deepest parts of our hearts. I want a love filled with heady emotions that sweep us off our feet, but also a love infused with a sense of realism that provokes honest and vulnerable communication. I want a love with someone who knows and understands me better than anyone else, and loves me because of my faults, not in spite of them. I want a love that makes me feel a giddiness, bubbliness, and happiness in my heart that has the power to overcome any bad mood or hurdle in life. I want a love where we create a life together, where our worlds broaden because of the other, and where we grow and evolve with each other. I want a love whose impact lasts forever. I want a love that stays.

Does anyone else feel this way? Sometimes, I think that I’ve been too heavily influenced by all the movies and books about love that I enjoy so much, but then another part of me thinks that it’s not too much to ask from life. Aren’t we all searching for that one person to make us feel all these things? All the good things? All the right things?

I have always been, and still am, in love with love. Even though I’m an adult now and know which of my childhood expectations are real and which are more fantasy, I still want it all. I crave the intense bliss, I yearn for the heart connection, and I so deeply desire the magic. This is the kind of love I want, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop searching for it until I find exactly what I’m looking for.

Jessica YutangcoComment